* * * LOVE, SEX, & THE EX * * *

When I was a little boy LOVE to me was… Loss Of Valuable Energy.

As I got into my teens, it became the Loss Of Valuable Emotions.

But when my daughter Anahita was born it transformed into the Light Of Valuable Energy.

So, What Is LOVE?

The Mystics say: Pyar Kiya Nahi Jata, Diya Nahi Jata, Bus Ho Jata Hai

Loosely translated:

LOVE is neither GIVEN, nor TAKEN, it just HAPPENS – when two SOULS MEET.

But does this HAPPEN to EVERYONE?

That depends on whether or not you understand the difference between LOVE & SEX.

I believe that:

LOVE IS IN THE BEING, while SEX IS IN THE DOING and we are HUMAN BEINGS, not HUMAN DOINGS.

That’s why we use the term “BEING IN LOVE” and have never heard the term “DOING IN LOVE”. (Ha Ha).

It is because: “LOVE IS A STATE OF BEING, NOT A MATTER OF DOING.”

So is SEX a Dirty Word?

No, SEX is not dirty word because it was put in humans for a divine purpose.

However, SEX BECOMES DIRTY WHEN THAT DIVINE PURPOSE IS VIOLATED.

In other words, there can be LOVE without SEX and there can be SEX without LOVE.

It’s the latter that violates the divine purpose.

So what is the purpose of sex?

I believe that nature designed it for procreation even though it is coupled with recreation.

That’s why it takes 2-to-Create-1, because it takes 2-to-raise-1.

Granted that at times this doesn’t happen even after the protocols are properly followed.

(I am talking about the inevitable physical demise of one parent in the life of a child).

However, that particular situation occurs less than 1% of the time even when the purpose is not violated.

But, it could potentially happen 100% of the time when the purpose is violated.

(I am now talking about the spiritual demise of one or both parents in the life of a child)

That is why all religions and spiritual traditions encourage SEX after MARRIAGE.

Because it is the…

SHARING OF SOMETHING SPECIAL IN YOU WITH SOMEONE SPECIAL TO YOU.

But the meeting of the two-souls and the mating of the two-bodies, come with the responsibility and commitment of honoring the divine purpose of procreation.

It takes 2-to-Create-1, because it takes 2-to-raise-1.

A child needs the presence of the father and the mother in his or her life to make it productive for our society. The conscious absence of either parent is affecting the spiritual growth of our children and impacting the productivity of our society.

Another aspect is psychological.

There is “EX” in the word “SEX” and this “X” could potentially CROSS your LIFE.

It’s the “EX” in the word “SEX” that haunts people when the divine purpose is violated.

Lets take a look at some other aspects, which inhibits growth in relationships.

I believe that finding a place in society is more like accepting yourself rather than looking for others to accept you.

Many years ago at a First World Zoroastrian Youth Congress, I was chairing a session titled:

SINGLE MINGLE WITH A TINGLE BUT NO JINGLE.

During this session a young lady got up and said:

“Mr. Amalsad, I am having difficulty finding the right person?”

And my reflective response to her was:

“Mam, if you would shift your consciousness from finding the right person to being the right person, you will realize that the right person will automatically gravitate towards
you.”

About 6-months later, she called me and said:

“Mr. Amalsad, do you remember me. I wanted to let you know that your statement about FOCUSING ON BEING THE RIGHT PERSON literally changed my perspective about life for which I want to thank you. Today, I’m calling to let you know that I am getting married next month.”

So I encourage you to build all your relationships by BEING THE RIGHT PERSON.

In the 1960s during the hippy movement in the West, there was an axiom, which peeled many relationships because it got misinterpreted.

“Love means never having to say you are sorry.”

The way I understood it is that:

“TRUE LOVE is DIVINE and one did not need to be SORRY for BEING in LOVE – whether or not it got MATERIALIZED in the form one was aspiring.”

It would have healed a lot of relationships if this axiom were clarified to read:

“Love means never having to say something for which you are sorry."

Another aspect is the concept of FALLING IN LOVE !

A wise person once said:

“FALLING IN LOVE IS ITSELF A FALLING, because FALLING is NEGATIVE, when you FALL YOU GET HURT… AND IT CAN BREAK YOUR HEART.”

I believe that we should focus on RISING IN LOVE instead of FALLING in LOVE if we want our relationships to grow and flow with LOVE & LIGHT instead of SHOVE & FIGHT.

I also believe that when you fall it creates boundaries, when you rise it becomes boundless.

Because when you fall, you end up in a binding relationship, but when you rise, you manifest a bonding relationship.

When you FALL the HEART BURNS, but when you RISE the same sensation creates LIGHT.

It is in this moment of CLARITY that LOVE becomes ETERNAL.

It has no beginning and when it has no beginning, one does not have to worry about when it will end.

All that works out well when we stay tuned with the purpose of LOVE & SEX without involving the EX.

But, somehow, we live in a society in which we are continuously brainwashed by the media to violate this divine purpose in the name of SAFE SEX.

In the name of SAFE SEX, the Boy friend has become more of a Toy friend rather than a Joy friend.

As a result, we are facing an epidemic of kids either having kids or aborting kids.

Not realizing that both situations are putting a physical, mental, and psychological toll on our kids, parents and our society.

These kids in the name of FREEDOM end up CAGING THEMSELVES with the responsibility of raising a child for which they are neither emotionally, psychologically or financially equipped.

SO, HOW SAFE IS SAFE SEX?

About 50-years ago, when you slept with someone, you were sleeping with that person only.

But today, when you sleep with someone, you are not just sleeping with that person.

Rather you are sleeping with all those people that person has slept with in the past.

And sometimes it takes up to 8-years before the consequences of the so-called SAFE SEX shows up in the form of HIV/AIDS.

Unfortunately, at that time in most cases the EX is nowhere to be found and one is left with an EXploited life with EXcruciating emotional, physical, and psychological pain.

This, I believe is nature’s way of saying enough is enough.

Earlier, I mentioned that: It takes 2-to-Create-1, because it takes 2-to-raise-1.

So, how does that apply to children who are raised by a single parent?

I believe that these children had no control on the choices that their parents made.

But they have full control on the choices that they can make for their own children.

They can choose to break this cycle by choosing to honor the divine purpose of sex and marriage.

They can give their children the essence of a family with the presence of a father and a mother in their lives through the sacred institution of marriage.

All it needs is a state of mind focused to accomplish that purpose with love and light.

All it needs is the wisdom to decipher that:

"Sexuality is a part of who we are, not all of who we are."

All it needs is the heart to understand that a moment’s passion can lead to a lifetime of disaster.

All it needs is the spirit to visualize a better family life for our children in the future.

And when that happens, their need for love will no longer become or remain needy.

As a result, they will not look for love in the wrong places.

Let us choose to transform a broken family life into a token family life for our children.

And in doing so, let us bring out the quintessence of love; by recognizing that love is neither physical nor material, it is rather eternal.

May you find love in every fiber of your being and radiate that love in the fiber of every other being.

And may you enjoy life with the divine purpose for which you were created.